back to add a little more to this site...

made e stupidest mistake in my whole life on sunday...kinda screwed everything up badly...but thank god things are not as bad as it deem...it could have been worse...anyway its over so lets move on with life...

things are kinda still rocky for me at the moment...like i can really get so worked out and depressed that i wana do more stupid things at the moment of sadness...which will in turn make things worse...i feel that my whole life had been a wrong life...

the things that i do and say...like how the hell did i even end up in the state?cultured since young?i don think so...cause who in their right mind will corrupt their child and bring them up in such a way?maybe things happened to me when i was younger and i didnt know cause i'm young and innocent?i have no idea even till now...anyway...i'm already like this...

hopefully some where down the road i might meet someone who can change my way of life and bring me back to the main road...i've been off course for as long as i can remember...hopefully...theres this special someone...if not then i'll just live life as it is right now...

23 more days of freedom left before i'm called upon on government service as a nsf for the next 2 years of my life...hopefully during this 2 years...things will get better...for me and for coley too...cos i still wish that she can find someone who can take care of her for life...oh well...shall not broth about it so much...i'm just making myself more miserable...

moving on...been spending money like drinking water these few months...and i dono why...like i just want to spend away all the money i have at hand....even the $100 advance pay i took on sunday is down to 10 bucks now...like so pathetic...i need to control my expenditures...before i'm left with nothing...bleah...

oh well gona get some rest now...been a terribly long and tiring day considering i didnt have enough rest from last night's sleep too...another long day ahead...better gear my body up before going for war...chao...