bleh...i think i ate too much....feel so sick now...eww....vomit....i feel like emptying my tummy...

what's with people burning those f**king incense paper in the middle of the night man?disgusting f**king inconsiderate morons....shit you assholes...pouplute the air with smoke and people's homes with ashes....wtf.

sometimes i really wonder,what's with these shiters..cant you asses burn your freaking incense paper during the day when people are not at home?at least they won't be inhaling those smokes for no reason...yet you asses have to burn those shity papers in the middle of the night when the whole population of the block are at home sleeping...

totally f**ked up man...knn...so pissed me off last night...had to shut off all the windows at home and switch on all the fans to vandilate the place...and when i woke up in the morning,the whole house was still smelling of smoke...and of of us smell of smoke too...seriously la...f**k those idiots man...i should have done what i initially wanted to,empty a bucket of water over those shiters from above...some more these idiots not just burn a pile of incense paper but 2 huge load piles of them...so much so that the ashes were flying everywhere till my corridoor were filled with them...

damn...the government spend tax payers' money to build those f**king big furnace at every single block just for you assholes to burn your f**king incense papers yet you shiters still burn them infront of the block...f**k you morons...and to litter the place with your disgusting ashes...sheeh...i so totaly hate these f**king inconsiderate freaking moronic asses...burn burn burn...i burn your f**king asses man...

i had a dream...about you...and i have no idea why...i dreamt that i confess my feeling to you...and you were kind of in between happy and angry...and it didn't end well...you were happy when i confess how i feel for you...but after which you sort of changed and became angry with me...and that was it....

no amount of explaination worked...and our friendship just crumbled and fell....then i woke up...so weird...after i told myself i will put aside all these feelings...it came up in my dream...omg...what am i really thinking or feeling?i can't even say for sure how i feel now...

but hack,its chinese new year so i might as well throw all my troubles aside and enjoy life as it is now..haha

again...when things are settled for now,all my feelings and thoughts are coming back to get me...sigh...staying at home alone at night on valentine's day...what a way to spend it...being all alone. random thoughts just start appearing in my mind again...reminding my of the old days...where everything was so much better than now...

what's becoming of me?i wonder...always thinking and thinking and thinking...all those things i wanted to say,to do...but they never got further than where my heart is...inside my body...i guess i'll never ever do those things till when i'm really sure that's what i really want...i'm just so afraid of how things will turn out...not the way i want it to be...but i guess it's what God wants for me..

on the other hand,exams's ver!!!yay!!haha..now i'm a free man!yahoo...till let's see...hmmm...like somewhere near april?haha...about 7 week of holidays la...lol...wahaha...work!work!work!that's what i'm gona do!earn more money!.cause i've been spending too much...ouch...what ever,how ever much money you have,you''ll spend it sooner than you think.so money is never enough for you.

but hack,i'm planning on going swimming every morning starting next week.so as to build up my bosy for army in a year's time.lol.

whoohoo!bought a new pair of sunglasses just now...so happy!haha...went with my bro to look around for one..$120 yeah...discount $20.haha...original was $140...lol...my own present for new year..haha..so i'm gona be wearing it...yay!

there's still so many things i wana buy...but my income is burning up fast..i'm left with like $80 from last month...omg...and i still haven't deposit them yet...yet i spend them away so fast...this new year's ang pao money will have to be emptied into my bank account i guess...if not,at the rate i spend my salary,i'll proberbly be broke before i even pay for my insurance...

ahh...crap ah..tomorrow's the last paper,how nice and sweet...having exam on valentine's day...wth man...haha...and my friend only last minute then tell me the tips he got....shit him...msg him yesterday never reply,then can't contact him...then now them tell me...so lat minute...just hope that tomorrow before the paper,i'll be able to absorb some last minute studying...

my prayers for this semester...that i can clear the two core modules even with just a D for a pass will do...at least i will not have to repeat the bloody modules...and i'll be able to move on for my third and final year in ngee ann before i'm thrown off to the green island where every head i'd see is a clean (ok...maybe not so clean) shaven head..haha...crap...i'm just too bored...

gona sleep soon but my room's being horded by my mom and sis both watching meteor garden (jap version) two on my sis's laptop...so i'll have to wait till my mom leaves the room...oh well...gave me some time to post this entry anyway :)

on another note,somehow,this year's paper doesn't really seem all that important to me...people may say it's because of new year coming but then again,this new year seem to be quite boring...i feel that i'm just showing up infront of people for the ang paos...and well,i'm not gona lie about it...ya...i'm really doing it just for the ang paos...since i myself have really grown quite far from my relatives...somehow don't feel as close to them as what i've used to feel..

now i feel more close to my friends from work-alvin,chris,mag,suban...the rest i'd say i don't really know them that well...even they know more about my life than my family right now i'll say.never really shared what's in my heart with my family since i'm pretty sure they won't understand what i'm going through right now at this point in my life.

anyway...think i'm getting super long winded so i'll just end it here.

ahh....one whole day at home with nothing to do...i'm freaking bored!!!study study study,till cannot ta han liao...super sian 1/2.....

been pretty these few days,both working and studying for my exams starting tomorrow and ending on valentine's day itself...kind of depressing,to be having a paper on that day but it's also my last paper...anyway,been working hard the past 2 days,so much so that i felt ill yesterday...had a very bad running nose while working and i practically had to clear my nose every five minutes...which means i cleared out half a box of tissue whilke working...

monster...and it got worse today,woke up with a bad sore throat in the morning so decided to stay at home and rest...did some studying in the afternoon but that's all i could muster...not really able to study while having to unblock my nose every five minutes or so and to clear my throat...but at least i did manage to get some revision done.

these few day had been quite peaceful in some ways too...didn't really had much time to keep thinking about what had happened the past months and stuffs.and to study alone is really nice,no one around to be distracting me or to disturb me.though when i'm stuck at one point,there's a need to call up my friend to clear the doubt i had which my revision.gona be sleeping early tonight since my paper is in the morning tomorrow...at 9am...which means i have to wake up at 6am and leave by 7am the lastest lest i am late for my paper.

hmmm...i realised that not having to think so much these few days actually relaxes my mind and give it a good rest...and i'm glad it did...if not,i might not have been able to absorb any revision that i did.so i just pray that everything that i've absorbed will not go to waste tomorrow.jia you!haha.oh well..not much to blog about so chao...

i'm such a loser...don't know why...but that's how i'm kinda feeling right now...everytime you appear,people will tend to notice the difference in the way i behave when you're around...and they always have to ask am i ok...which makes it even more obvious...sigh...like duh...of cause i'm not really ok...especially when you are around...

but everyone just kept asking me the same old question...maybe intentionally,or by coincidence...i do not know...but it's geting irritating...though i don't really like it when you are around cause i will feel uneasy...but when you are not around...it feels as though something is missing...and i'm not really liking one bit of it...

it shows that i'm still feeling towards you...which i want to forget...and cast aside...there's always a mixed feeling inside of me when i see you...one which still yearns for you...and the other which loathes you...i just wana cut up my chest and see what exactly is going on in my heart...though i'm sure to die if i do so...but i really don't know what i'm feeling right now...

at one time,i want to see you,at another,i want to get away from you...and yet another,my heart seem to shift towards my other female firends...i'm really feeling tired...especially when people are talking about me already...i know who they are but i will not name them...it's very ungentleman to do that...so i'll just let it be...

on the other hand,mag,i'm so sorry..haha...had to get you to take out the stupid toilet bowl brush out from the toilet bowl cause it got stuck inside the bowl..lol...was washing the toilet at the cafe when the head of the brush just poped out and disappear into the dowl...omg...then i tried to get it out by using the handle but it was stuck..so i had to ask mag for help..and she wore a glove and venture her hand into the mysterious bowl in search of the missing head...haha...ans low ans behold,she got it!but it was stuck because there was shit at the inside bottom of the bowl...yucks...so we threw away the whole thing...and it ends the case of the missing head..haha..

oh well..i laughed till my stomache had cramps...which was a super long time ago when i had such a great laugh...so much so that mag and chang da were looking at me in disbelief while calling me siao(mad).haha...it kinda calmed me down abit...which was a superb great way to destress..yup..

anyway,i better get going,have to go sch in the morning to study...if not bh sure will kao bei me again..

wedding was good,haha...being one of the 10 brothers was really fun too:) tho it's quite tiring running here and there all about. not to mention rushing home to shower and change before rushing donw to the hotel by 4pm.haha.

after that was preperation for the wedding dinner in the evening and we had to help out with ushering,the "yam seng" and helping with alchohol blocks for the bride's groom and the bride.lol.had alot of fun overall.

but some things kina pissed me off...
-people can be so rude they never realised the person they're talking about is aware of their little discussion...and yes you know who you are so i will not name you out-by that moment,you should have known it's you i'm talking about..so ya...case close.

i don't know why but i had this sudden urgh to call someone,though i don't have her number...and i do not know why it poped into my mind,seriously...out of the blue,during dinner,i just took out my phone to fider with it and the thought struck me hard...hmmm...what could it mean?no idea...maybe i should ask her for her number...lol..since i've known her for like 2 years?even though we're just friends,i never really had her contact.

ah...i'm thinking too far off...haha...gona sleep liao...my freaking friend kept msging me to don't be late tml...cause we're gona be studying in school..but i don't really wana study,especially when i just came back from a wedding. oh well,i'm out

decided to remove the previous posting...had too much extreme expressions in it...sorry to my lil sis too...this post wasn't meant for you to see...): but hey,i'm feeling so much better already...today had been quite a great day,soccer was awsome..haha,was dominating almost the whole night:D

am looking forward to the wedding tomorrow,whoohoo!though it's sure to be a busy day ahead,bring it on :) brothers in arm!we shall march together!haha..ok,better go soon,a tiring and fun day awaits!