this week's pretty much a test week...everyday till thursday i'm having a test in the morning...then by 12pm,i'll be on my way back home...interesting...like it's holidays already though it's not...2 more weeks till my last papers for year 2.then it's chinese new year!

went home at 12pm today,brought my laptop and uniform to school but in the end, i went back home...alamak...cause it was too early which i didn't expect lessons to end so early.went to work preparing myself if the rest would get a shock...but again,they kept smiling and saying i look good..haha

kina funny...then you came in..haven't seen you in a week..and it's obvious you didn't really want to see me. especially when boss asked you to look at me, you were like why?the nwhen you looked at me,then you got a shock..oh well...like what people says,times and time alone will heal the hurt...and it's working pretty well..though i still feel abit uneasy when i see you around...but heck...i do't wana think about the past anymore.

reborning my hair feels like i myself am reborn again...since people starts to look at me from another angle which they didn't know they could look at me from...and i kind of enjoy it...haha,sorry to say the truth..since i don't really go about seeking attention from people unlike some people, when there's a significant change in me,people tend to notice..i have no idea why but that's how things go i guess..and i ca't really be bothered by it as there is no point in adding burdens to myself..right?

oh ya,again don't know what wind is blowing...tonight so many people ordered alchoholic drinks...like 4 glasses of red wine,1 chivas coke,3 heinikens,1 tiger glass, 1 margerita..phew...never drink alchohol but smell till i went high man..haha...flowing in the air..haha...

k la...gtg for now,need to get some sleep for tml's test though i'm sure to fail it...sigh...tata...

gona do a short post here..haha,went to reborn and color my hair yesterday afternoon after service with my mom...lol...she colored her hair again,cause i colored mine and influence her to do just the same...haha

feeling tired...worked last night then had supper.so slept late and i almost over slept for work this morning.haiz...keep waking up before my alarm rang at 830.then after it rang i knocked out again till the next thing i know,it was 10am...and i start work t 11am...so had to rush myself crazy...lol.today was quite fun,though we were quite pissed wif xiao hei for being so freaking slow in his work.had to do for him somemore...but oh well...it's our job..no choice.

tomorrow,say goodbye to my curls!haha.gona reborn my hair at my mom's salon in the afternoon.so guess it will be the last time i'm gona appear in church with my curly hair that always gets tangled with knots then i have to break the hair with the freaking knots...sad..so after tomorrow,no more fears of tangled hair...yay!

peaceful week...ya right...screwed my ECAM tutorial test on tuesday...only knew the answer to the first part of question 1...omg...but i made it up for my pratical test,scored 19/20...wahaha..then on wednesday,had PCIT practical test...it was like woa...the whole class was like discussing the questions and asking our practical lecturer for the answers and he pratically gave us all the answers we needed...haha.so should score pretty well for it.

then today had the mini project for visual instruments...had to design a woking program and connect it to the demo box.oh well,i had a back up program which i did already and i imply in into the mini project,did more improvements and added in more stuffs to complete the program.now only left my partner to finish up the wiring to the program in the demo box.

and tomorrow,i'm gona be having my final E games design lesson...yay!the final presentaion tomorrow during class...phew...gona be a scary one i think.gona present on our game that we designed...xiong ah...still rushing the powerpoint slides like siao...hope that tml at least we will know who will be presenting on what...after that,will be heading for work...same old buddies as last friday...haha..

another note,it's really been a quiet week except for school,other than that,work on tuesday was pretty ok too.though there was quite a few last minute customers who likes to come in when it's like 30 minutes to closing?then tuesday seem to be the alchohol night,so many people were ordering long island tea,margerita,house red,liquer coffees...but hey,i'm a good bar tender...lol...haha

anyway,thank God for the peaceful week without much to think about(exclude school which is compusary) and all my buddies who have been encouraging me :D haven hear from you since tuesday,lil sis...haha...are you around?seems like your pretty busy.don stress urself out too much ok?must take a break and relax abit:D hope to see u on sat if possible-blinkblink-

hmmm...random thoughts...interesting questions that pops into my mind all of a sudden...haha...but,some of these questions can be quite freaky at times...and i shall not give away these thoughts that went through my mind...but then again,like i said...its quite interesting how these things comes into our mind so easily...

like all of a sudden...this question pops into my mind...-what if we were together?-and i'm still thinking about this question...like why it came uo out of the blue...and i still haven't really found the answer yet...oh well...shall not ponder over it too much...already have so much white hair...

work was tiring yet satisfying i would say...lol...don't know where the wind was blowing from but it brought alot of people in today. though i had to rush about doing 2 person's job at the same time...had like 4 tables of customers when the door was just unlocked...so i didn't have any time to bring out the tables and chair.

had to take care of the 4 tables but i thank God that jing fa came eariler than his sheduled time.so i was able to do my own work.and there was this customer who came in alone,and man was she pretty :D.haha...seen her around at the cafe quite a few times with another friend but this time she came alone.and she stayed from like 12pm till 5pm...wow...eye candy for 5 hours...but like what they say,only for display,not for sale...oh well.

then for the whole afternoon, it was kind of peaceful,till she came by...again...seriously,i'm trying not to think too much about it...but again,she went into the bar and just stood by the icecream fridge there,the corner right beside the sink where i always slack in...the worse is i had to be there cause i had some dishes to wash...it was after i place down the dishes into the sink that she walk away..then she just kept lingering around till she had to go back...i don't know...

chris said i'm thinking too much...but then...and if she doesn't like me,then why does she always come near?though i've decided to give up...it's really a burden i've gotten myself into...a huge burden in my heart...and as what people say-time and time alone will heal the broken heart-yes,i do agree with it...but everytime when there is a sign that my heart is healing, she will appear infront of me and my heart will stop healing...then the wound will appear again...

i want to learn how to really give up without regretting...how to let go of the bar and reach forward and grap the next one instead of holding on to the one same bar...i'm stuck at the same place...i need to move on!i want to move on!i must move on!stretch and reach out for the next bar!stretch!!!

sigh...all the complaining...the stupidlity...i feel so stupid to be trapped in my own feelings...screw my feelings and get on with life man...i'm wasting away opportunities out there...

monday-a pretty slack day for me...had one lecture in the morning and one lab in the afternoon...lecture was like duh....everyone sleeping and stuff and lab was even worse...we practically copied our assignment from friends in the next class..haha...

tuesday-another kind of a slack day...again,lectures in the morning,then lab in the afternoon.lab was somewhat good though.finished up 2 labs in 2 hours. then left for work.work was super relaxing...cause it was a quiet night.and i realised,she always appear when i'm working...and somehow, she always stays around close by...though we never exchanged words. other days i may not know,but it's always the day when i'm working and she's working...

maybe i'm thinking too much...but,that's what i seee...and it's making things awkward for me...to see her around but not talking to her yet i have to except her presense...it's totally crap...but no choice...i have to except the fact...that no matter what,she will always be around somehow...so there's nothing i can do...

anyway,wednesday-today was by far the slackest day for me...tutorial and lecture in the morning was good,then the afternoon lab was surpose to be practice for the lab test next week but heck,we were all playing games in class..then the last lecture was in late afternoon...so naturally,we left after the 1st hour...haha...super slack...then there's a lab test tomorrow too.in the morning and i've been playing online games instead of studying...oops...

gona go to bed soon,super tired...i'm beginning to look like L...the dark rings around my eyes,the pale look on my face...i'm feeling creeped too...freaky...better go before i knock out infront of my laptop...zzz

the new desktop came today in the afternoon.kina cool,140 gb of space plus the old desktop hard disk to total up to 200gb worth of space...woohoo!more space means more anime!yeehhaaa...haha.spent the afternoon with my bro extracting the extra components to boost the new desktop using the rams and drivers from the old desktop.

and it was raining the whole freaking day...and somemore i'm allegic to dust and the whole cpu of the old desktop was filled with them...omg...spent the rest of the day sneezing and hurting my lungs...ouch man...and i think my throat is starting to hurt too...haiz...so in the end didn't go for cell..

now i'm still sniffing my leaking nose...sigh...stupid rain...foil my day...but thanks goodness i'm not so tired anymore!yay...had a good night's rest and spending the day at home just relaxing was good:D and i managed to get my mom to buy sushi!wahaha...my favourite food of all time:D -grinning from ear to ear-ate them like there's no tomorrow and there's still some left in the fridge...some for my bro and maybe the rest for later tonight...lol

just went to eat 2 panadol cold...forgot to eat them just now...so now have to wait for the effect to set in...hopefully my nose will feel better later or by morning...don't wana be sniffing and sneezing through the night...haha

that's basically my day for today...slack and slack and slack...haha..gona slack somemore...

bored...nothing to do...feeling tired but don't wana sleep so early...

school was pretty ok, handed in the monster assignments...finally! then now another monster assignment is coming...alamak...gona chiong the assignment on monday i think.so for now,it's relaxing time...been super tired the whole week..

yesterday night was by far the worse...even daniel said i look like a walking zombie...which i myself agree...cause i was really shaged out...don't know the main reason but i down 3 cups of coke get enough suagr in my blood..think low blood sugar could be the reason as what suban said...

anyway,i'm losing concentration liao...feeling tired again...so i'm gona go slp...and to the people out there...B square is BB.haha

last night wasn't really a pleasent one...the fact that i had to work with her was already quite sian...though i do my best to make things ok...it just doesn't really work out well for me...the way she speak to me is just so different from the last time...it used to be ok,now her words feels so cold...

through out the whole night,she didn't even start a conversation with me at all,so all she does is talk to chris while i do my own stuffs.and the fact that she didn't even bother to help me collect the cups back just says it all...that she doesn't give a damn...

thank goodness my lil sis came to the rescue,by keeping me company through sms...thanks alot :D like i said, war has started without me yesterday...and i feel that it is true...everything seem to all go wrong at the same time...first,the air-con leaked and flooded the floor...then after frothing milk,i split them all over the bar when i was done with it...then the stupid coffee machine's single shot cap flew off and gave me a few little burns...

everything's going against me...and all these happen when she was around...something's definitely going on here...but what i've said to my lil sis before-i don't see the point in you giving all your efforts to someone who doesn't seem to care,i'm going to apply it to myself...since she has already drawn the line,there's nothing for me to lose is there?not much anyway...

i just wish that someone who appriciates me for who i am will appear soon...though i may not know when that is...i may have already met that someone...but still...only God knows when it will happen.till then...

i'm still feeling super tired...and i still don't know why...ate quite alot yesterday just to generate enough energy to keep myslef awake for the day...but the food breaks down too fast..imagine eating sushi during morning lesson,then after that go for lunch and dessert. then buy sweets and flavored iced tea for the afternoon and then eating pancakes and pasta for dinner...yet when i reached home,i was already feeling hungry again...

something's wrong...could be an illness,or it could be some changes in my body that is making me experience all these things...if it's an illness...then i'm sure to gg...and my digestion systems is going chaotic again...maybe due to the holidays where my eating went back to normal and now it's trying to adapt to schooling again...seems like that's the most likely case here...if not i also don't know what is wrong here...

anyway,gona go school soon...skip 2 lesson for today liao...so i better go for my afternoon lesson...though it's only 10 am now...still..i have about 1 & 1/2 hour left before i set off...so gona rest for now.

gona start work in about 50 minutes time...been doing my monster assignment from like 4:15pm till now...6:10pm...and i'm still not really done but i can't think anymore...so i'll just leave it to the rest tomorrow when we have our meeting...feeling quite tired now...but no choicehave to work later...

anyway,school today was quite ok,slack around in the morning then go makan...haha,ate quite alot today but i'm hungry already...maybe it's because i'm burning up alot of energy just to stay awake...don't know why when i slept at 11pm, and woke up at 6am...i was feeling so much more tired compared to when i slept at 12 midnight and waking up at 6am...weird...

somemore i'm wearing contatcts today so my eyes are even more tired now...been wearing them for about 12 hours straight liao and i haven applied my eye drop yet..speaking of which,i better apply them befor i start wok...it's becoming irritating..

slept for 1 hour in the bus in the morning but didn't really help...now i need to pump in sugar to give me the energy i need to survive through the night...ahh...can't think liao...really braindead liao...

so sian...not much happening around...school started last week....so now everyone's busy again..and i still have my monster assegnments to hand in...going to improve on them before handing in this friday.but now i'm just not in the mood to do anything..haha...

started the reading on the book of daniel last night...and i hope that i can keep with it...though i know that i will find many excuses to not do my reading...felt that i needed to do something about it since last year i didn't do the living prayer...as i was going through one of the worse times in my life during that period..

and though i just went through yet another monstrasity time...i feel that it's time i move on to better things..better than drowning in my own sorrows and making everyone around me worried or even dragged down by me.it's my responsibilty i guess,to ensure that my family and friends are not tied down by me.

so,this time,i hope that i will be able to pull through ba...hopefully with God's help and the encouragement from my buddies.everything's starting to fall into place i guess,since that day where i decided to go through with the reading.

slacking now at the cafe...went down after school at 6 to slack with ku...then waiting for big boss,boss and xiao ming to end work then we go for supper..haha...the guys are thinking of buying satay and stuffs down to sembawang park to join chris in fishing and catching flower crab there.lol...

shall see how when they are done with closing ba...then will decide where to eat...so for now,i'm super sian ah...played cs and dota from like 7pm till about 9pm then my eyes like gona fall off liao...now quite seh...feel like sleeping but can't le...zzz...don't know what to do for now..have about 2 1/2 hour till closing at 12 mid night...

ahhh....cannot tahan ah...sibei sian...

its 1am...and i'm still not asleep yet....had a long day i would say..school in the afternoon then went to work.had like 3 hours before i start work so i did my monster assignment which need to be handed in later during my E-Games design module...sian...don't even know how or what i'm surpose to do...super sad case..

then during work,it was quite slack as there wasn't much customers around so the three of us did some "sinfull" stuff..haha...not surposed to be watching shows but we used my laptop to watch death note 1.lol,then watch till 10pm then we start closing...finished at about 11:20pm then continued with the show till 12am before going back home..haha..then later at night maybe going to watch death note 2-the last name...see how,cause now only have like me,suban and xiao ming...

like quite sian like that...then the rest either on off day or working night shift..another sad case...so one solution is we watch the mid-night film after work then go for supper or just the three of us...if not,then i think most likely will be going for supper only...so see how ba,wait till i go down to the cafe then we decide.

what a boring new year...nothing to do all day...didn't even get to chat much on msn either...everyone's out or busy...and i'm surprise i'm like the only one who's free...nothing to do...super duper slack...

spent the day thinking about the week that just past by,the christmas week...all the unexpected things that happened,all the crap and shit which hit me real hard...and not to forget the great JB trip and the merry new year watch night service.haha and tomorrow or rather later,gona go vivo for a movie...yay..

although this christmas wasn't really the best christmas for me,it was one of the most eventfull christmas season for me...many htings,both bad and good happened,some i don't want to speak of and some i wana experience again.like the JB trip!

well,looking back,2006 started with a blast,then somewhere down February things changed,and i kind of slack back...it became worse when my buddies went to army,but things soon changed again,when i became closer to the cafe people in june.started spending more time there and before i realised,the cafe became part of my life.

sparks flew for me,but they died down pretty fast cause there really wasn't anything there for me.but then once again,i felt the sparks moving again...that was also the time where i drew cold towards my classmates as they weren't really the best of friends out there,since i realised that some of them will leave you to die alone when things happens.

due to that,i drew even closer to the cafe,so much so that i'm practically there almost every weekday nights after my lessons.and the sparks continued to fly but only on my side i guess...and then christmas came by,and the sparks were forced to die down...almost completely but i managed to save some of them.

even if the sparks can't grow into a flame,at least there's still heat going on i hope.and hey,before i knew it,that's the end of 2006...fast isn't it?another year just flew past and i'm gona be 19 soon...well,in another 8 months..haha..hope that year 2007 will be better and that everything will start afresh for me.

school-moving on to my last year in np in april i think,since i have only 6 more weeks left before i complete my second year and a long holiday i hope.and it seems that though i may have lost some friends,some friendship which i'd rather lose than to keep and some which i'd wish to hold on to,i have gained other friends and even bonded with my buddies even more,so much so that they are like my brothers and some,even sisters.

and i truely hold them precious in my life.now,i'm looking forward to more in 2007,hopefully a good relationship to blossom somewhere down the road.don't think there's much resolutions to make for 2007 but i'm sure things will happen when the time comes,so i'll just continue with my life till the time comes for events to happen.

oh well,looking forward to the movie later so i better get some sleep soon.and hey lil sis,if you ever read these,thanks for all your support and listening ear all these time :D hope that i'll be able to be your listening ears when you need me ya?i'll alwyas be there when you need me:)

watch night...not that much expectation for me...cause i know that this year end hasn't really been good for me...so i prefer to not expect so much just to dissappoint myselfin the end.went to big boss's new condo near OCC for BBQ just now before going down to church.

was doing the satay then i 'pangkang' my 2 thumbs and index fingers..haha...had a small blister onmy feft thumb and i got bitten by ice...yes,ice...sounds stupid but really...was trying to loosen the ice to get them into the drink tub when they attacked me...leaving a small blood clot just under my right palm...haha

anyway,had lots of fun at the BBQ,and to be daniel's commander while he played majong...haha...super funny,me and chris were on both his sides guiding him as he learn how to paly majong...didn't play cause they were playing with money...and i don't gamble with money,so...i just watch them play.

but sadly,i had to leave early for watch night service at 9:30pm...and the rest won't there yet...so i guess i missed out the fun after the rest came but oh well...it's the right thing to do i guess...too much of some things are bad...and i'm really thankful to the buddys,for their encouragement about that issue and the advices they gave me...not going to take things that hard since it's the beginning of a new year.

let's just start all over fresh and new...everything that happened in 2006,let them past on while i venture into 2007-a new year,a new beginning,a new hope.goodbye 2006,welcome 2007!1 year past by so fast....a happening year,lets just hope that 2007 will be more happening ya?i sure hope so :D

should i play soccer later?so tired...but now can't really sleep...so when i go sleep later sure won't wake up in time for soccer at 8:30am...so see how ba...think most likely won't go ba...sure cui one..haha