Feeling alittle down...but not really down...juz sad...somehow...dono y...but sad...

think i'm depressed or something...dono y...but something is definately wrong wif me...mayb i think too much...abt wat?i dono...most of e time its abt her...mayb i over think of her ba....haiz...

Fast izzint it?yr 2005 is ending in juz afew more daes...sigh.....felt tat i haven aomplished much this yr...mayb except getting better exam results den i've ever did in e pass few yrs...sadly,this term wasn't a good term for me...nevermind tat...

end of 2005...a whole new yr coming along...nobody noes wats gona happen...but who cares?rite?ya...erm...hope tat 2006 will b a great yr for all...esp for me...hope tat i'll be able to go wif her...haha...oh well...we'll have to see abt it...don we?

haha...jia you!!!tatz wat i'll sae...hope tat she noes how i feel...by now, she should have some hints ba...after all,i've like sent her so much msg asking abt her...

anyway...hope tat e ending of yr 2005 will bring to all u out there a greater and better yr 2006!!
ciao ppl...

todae's e production dae...hope tat all will run smoothly.my big bro's invlove too...hehe

but he's too 'proud' to give me some sneak peeks...:(watever....looking forward to e drama late at MGS...

Merry Christmas to who ever reads this...haha

well...been a wonderful dae for me...tho sadly, someone wasn't around...anyway...wishing all a blessed n happy CHRISTMAS!!!

Ok...think i finally noe how i feel...mayb wat Joshua told me was like true...tat i focus too much on trying to get Her to b my girlfriend.....realized i missed out alot of considerations abt the whole issue...

now tat my thoughts r clearing up...think that i'm not really suited for Her...after all this yrs...i thought i finally made e right choice...but den,She really seemed to b a big sister to me now...all my stress had been a waste(lots of white hair)...not really...now i seem to b more concern abt e other Her...(as in e other gal)

Quite sad tho...to fall sick on christmas eve...some more i was out christmas shopping wif her yesterdae...den she had gastric pain...so i send her home after e shopping...thought tat she would be better todae...but no...saw her sis instead & her sis told me tat she was ill...sad is'nt it?

she told me she had some virus infection which caused her to vomit twice last nite...haiz...makes me feel sad as well...hope that she'll b well enough to go for the drama tml nite...told her i wanted to go wif her...haiz...pray that she will b well enough to go...

ok....i'm screwed....wat is wrong wf me?

die...i also dono wats going on wif me...first i like Her...nw,after todae's christmas party...i think i like another Her...dead...wat m i to do?(Lord,will u deliver me?)really need help here......thinking back...

She was like very nice and stuff but when i started talking wif Her...i realised tat She was more of like a big sister rather den girlfiend to me...but den again...she seemed concern abt me le?like juz now,She thought tat i need to go to work half way tru e party den She ask me abt it looking like quite sad but when i told Her no need liao She was like super happy(...juz don get gals...)

den again....the new Her....wat do i feel abt Her?friendship?brother sister-ship?or m i juz flirting around?i have absolutely 0% idea...now i'm kind of like stuck between this 2 Hers...die...wat to do?the new Her is my age,smaller den me by afew months...while She is 1 yr n 3 months older den me...how?scratch head till hair all gone liao still no lightbulb willing to light up...seems all my lightbulbs r bust...

now my eyes r half closed but my mind's still racing like an engine thinking abt this whole new issue abt Her & Her...wa lao...information overload.....
KABOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!........................................................................
communication breakdown liao.....

woohoo...juz came back from a camp on sunday...tiring as it had been,it was a truely wanderful great experience i had...really learnt alot during the camp, tho it was quite short...only 3 daes 2 nite n the fact tat i was late on e first dae.(due to school)

nevertheless,it was a tiring weekend for me as i had alot of things to do during the camp-as a group leader,i had to look after my group members and ensure tat they are safe n sound.unlike me,my dorm door shut on my thumb....ouch...anyway, felt tat e camp was really a great blessing to me as i've got to know my old friend better,tho we were like didnt talk for quite a long while...

really blessed to have grace ho as my camp group adviser...she really helped me out alot tru out e camp.thank u grace:) hope tat our friendship will last!

ok la...thumb's hurting again so i'll stop here...

Wa dead...think i push too much...tried my friend's advice by poping Hi's n hello! to Her...but Her reactions were not quite wat i expected...its always like sorry i'm busy now...or talking personal things to my friend...n stuff.

feel irritated wif myself too...think i'm approaching Her in e wrong way...which may have caused Her to react this way...haiz...i'm such a failure...better buck up b4 She's gone wif e wind...

sian ah...everytime i try to talk to Her...i juz feel like a total wreak...sinking to e bottom of e deep blue sea...need some major help here...SOS...SOS...dying soon...tho i still talk to her when i see her...i juz feel so usless...haiz...i'm going nuts...

I juz don get it...y is it tat some ppl no matter wat u said to them they hack care den later when u confront them they kao bei sae u never inform them...

seriously,wat in e world is wrong wif ppl like them?i juz don get it...sometimes i juz wana pick up a baseball bat n smah these ppl upside down...but i cant...so i'll juz verberly abuse them...haha...watever...

but i was dumb enough to go punch e wall in my home to fa sie...result?i bruised 2 knuckles n think i injured e tannent in them...now i cant bend my fingers properly...damn e bloody wall...crap...it was my fault for punchin it...

Was talking to my secondary friend todae...quite an interesting friend.she taught me ways to start conversations wif Her...really grateful to tis friend:)

like juz keeping msning Her when She's online to sae hi n stuff...ask Her how She is,if She's free to talk...my friend really have ways to disturb ppl if u ask me...hehehe...anyway,glad to have talk to tis friend todae...

super long never talk liao...she have bf liao i also dono...wat kind of friend m i rite?well...its also quite interesting how i started e msn conversation wif my friend...i had actually wanted to msn my classmate to ask him abt our C.A.T.S project so i double click den start tying...

when i realised i msn e wrong person,i alreadly send e msg...haha...so dumb of me...den my friend started chatting wif me n she told me abt her bf n ask me if i have gf or not...of cos not la...i'm still waiting for my chance....

so she taught me-no,gave me some tips to get Her attention...tho like quite daring kind of tips but sound effective...so i'm gona try it out when i see Her online...yay...hope all works out well...if not...den its really I(t's) T(he) E(nd)...

pray tat She'll noe my feelings for Her...but i'll need to noe wat She thinks abt me so i can watch wat i sae to Her...wish me luck:)

off to battle field!!!nites...

Hmmm...seems tat e more i get in contact wif her,i want her in my life more...todae was a good beginning,recieved a call from her to inform me of where e whole gang's at and when i said i was coming,she seemed very happy going:Yay!!seeu later!

maybe its juz me but i felt tat e huge block of ice i've form btween us is slowly breaking...hope tat it will eventually melt away...anyway,really felt great to see her todae...makes me wana ask her out for a movie mayb?but i noe tat she's busy now wif e up coming events like christmas,camp n stuff...

i'll juz sign off here...gona do my EE Cad...