trip to jb was good i will say...hope can go again some day...especially when i have more money to spend..haha...didn't really spend alot today,had 228rm to spent buy i had 99rm left...spent 28rm on 4 dvds and 30rm on dinner..the rest abit here and there...ya...sadly...didn't really saw anything that appeal to my liking...

though there was two that appealed to me...the baseball bat in jusco which cost like only 20rm...and the levai's converse shoe balck color which cost only 50rm...yet i didn't buy either...kind of regret that i didn't buy them...but well,there's always the next time where i can go down again...since its only a bus ride down to jb..lol...

really had a good and enjoyable day today...laughed so much because of clarence and his pop 3 stuff and how nick became his acgl,cher hao his aacgl,chao yuan his games ic and alpha being his regular...haha...super funny to see them bickering over the little nonsences..and all the lame jokes contributed by me and chao yuan...and occaionally from nick...who couldn't much stand our jokes...haha...monstrasity :P

the only thing i brought out of jb was not for my usage but for girls...haha...ear rings...omg...i can't believed i bought them..haha but it's for my lil sis,kai ling and my real sis...so oh well...brotherly love..haha.my baseball bat...-sniff sniff- maybe should have bought it ah...cause also don't know when will i be able to go down again....not anytime soon that's all i know...unless boss and the rest want to go down onmonday morning...since they open at 4pm.

see how about it...anyway,BIG BOSS!HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U!and the hose warming tml night...then i have to pia down to church for the watch night service at 10pm..haha...sure shag out one...so i better go sleep soon...sevice is at 9:15am...so that means i need to wake up at 7am the latest...ya...gona sign off...tata

if that is how you want it to be...then so be it...i have nothing to say liao...and i don't want to say anymore...it's tiring for me...and it's wasting my time away...for no good cause at such...first his explaination sucks and then now,another brother said almost the same thing...so why do i still see things differently from them?am i too entangled in my own thoughts that i left out something important?

and i wasn't sure if i'm just lucky or super unlucky...when i'm always wondering if i will meet you on the bus,i don't...then while on my way to work...i missed my bus...so i waited for the next one...which appearently was quite crowded...and when i board the bus...omg...i saw you...sheesh...just the timing where i wasn't ready to see you...i had to bump into you...although you didn't seem to care about my existance...since you have your friends with you....

come to think of it...seems that what ever the bros were saying seems right...and my lil sis too...i don't know what's coming up next but...i'm sure God will be there before me and He will make a way for me-Saviour, He can move the moutains,my God is mighty to save,He's so mighty to save. Forever, auther of salvation, He rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave...
Shine your light and,let the whole world see...Cause we're singing,for the glory,of the risen KING,JESUS!-

i feel that it's time to let go...though my heart is still hurting,but like what my lil sis said,God and time will heal my broken heart...thank you lil sis,for standing by me when i needed someone to talk to :) i'm gona spend a wonderful day at JB!yeeehaaa!!!

hope that i can get to buy some real good stuff there...not sure what,but will go and see what's there interesting to buy...haha.maybe some blings and dangs.or FOOD!!.haha.gona leave all the worries in singapore and have fun!!!

today,you avoided me...i can tell by the fact that you chose to come in when i was behind in the kitchen...then you left quickly when i came out...as if you were doing it on purpose...just to avoid eye contact with me...and it's really hurting me...first day i saw you since that fateful day...and i'm being treated as if i don't exist in your life...

seriously,what do you want me to do?can you just tell me so that at least i know why you are ignoring me...surely because of that stupid question that ******* shot out that you have to do this to me...though i hate the way he explained his actions,and the way he defended himself,i really don't see why we can't work it out?

even if you were to reject me right in my face,at least i still have an answer from you...not like now,where you just avoid me and ignore me at all cost...not giving me any answer...true,i know that you were not prepared when that question was fired at me...but your reactions and actions really hurt me very deeply...even if it doesn't wok out between the two of us,at least let me have a chance to prove myself...or the least we can still be friends...

but no...you just keep yourself away from me...creating an armoured wall around yourself when i am near you...if that is how you want it to be,then there's nothing that i can do to keep this friendship anymore...nothing at all...since what ever i do will just be washed down the deepest drain...the only thing i can do is to pray that the situation doesn't worsen and that the effect of that question will not scar you for life...

either then that,i really don't know how to save this friendship...so many people told me to take that question as a game and all...but,ultimately,it's you who will decide how and where our paths will be going next,,,weather they will join as one or split to two different paths which will never meet again...it's all yours for the taking...i have choosen my path,now,i'm waitng for you to choose your path...if the two paths doesn't match,then my path will just be one that never has and never will have an ending...

it's 1:45am in the morning...and i'm super hungry and tired...but my mind is full of you...i'm cracking...

this is definately the worse thing i'm going through for christmas season this year...first,right on christmas morning,my day was screwed up by someone i regard as my buddy and brother,whom also cause her to be angry at him and me...

now,i just found out that she blocked me on msn too,after suban told me that she was online...shit man...everything's falling apart...all that i treasured...all that i hold precious to my heart...all beaten...crushed...broken...gone...every single thing...

where do i go from here?how do i go from here?what's out there for me?i feel like i'm stuck on a road that is never ending,the people around me seem to find the little exits and leave without me...leaving me all alone,moving on on the road without exits....and the road just kept narrowing down till it becomesa one-way lane where there's no return...and i'm regretting everything that past me by...

i'm at my wit's end now...God...where do i go from here?is this how it's gona be?there's so much i wanaask You...but i cant get them out...why?Lord...tell me why...let me know that You are there,that You care...and all that You have for me are in Your hands...

sigh...i think she really hates me now...but what can i do?i guess i'll just leave it all to God...

i feel so betrayed...even though i knew that question would pop out sooner or later...i thought i was prepared...but appearently,she wasn't...and that was it...

maybe i shouldn't have played truth or dare with the rest...true,it was fun to set the dares and stuffs but i also knew that the ultimate question would be fired at me...just that i didn't realised it would have came from one of my brothers,to think that i shared so much with him...he just screwed my christmas and my friendship up...

just recalling your angry expression really made me sad...i really don't know what to say or to do now...since my feelings for you are known to almost all in L2...i don't know how to face you anymore...especially since you already drew your limit line...the friendship that i tried so hard to keep between us seem to be breaking apart already...

what possible reason does he have that he didn't want to tell me about until another day?that reason which made him fired that freaking question at me...that is tearing me apart from within?is it a good reason?or just some stupid reasoning that he made up?no matter what and no matter how,i'm gona hunt down the reason that made him did this....screw my christmas up...

my dream world,a world where humans ride with dragons,where human gain the ability to control the six elements of the world,earth,wind,fire,water,light and the last but not least,the dark magic element...

the single element with the ability to destroy mankind,and all that is there...a force so dark and powerful no human can withstand when set against them...a force where evil dwells from within the dark side of human...

the dragons,together with the 5 countries each guarding the 5 elements,stand together as one,against the last country which came under the control of the dark magic...the country which set foot to destroy all mankind...

through the years of enraged battles,only 1 country was left,the country of fire...wind,water,earth and light,the 4 countries guarding these elements were taken by the dark forces...the survivors fled to the fire country for their lives,those who didn't make it were eaten by darkness.

now,5 young warriors,each with the bloodline of the five different elements,rise up to set foot on a journey,a journey to awaken the powers sealed within them,a journey to end the darken world...

the time has come,rise my fellow brothers,rise and unlock the powers within you,the powers to defeat the evil forces...

hmmm...feeling somewhat weird today...don't really feel the need to think of you or even see you...feels so strange about it...before the camp,i'd always look for excuse to appear near you but now,after the camp...there seem to be no need for that...

am i losing the feelings i have for you?it seem so that way...like i'm the flame of a burning candle...sometimes small and sometimes burning with pride...it seems that after the camp which moved my heart,the candle is burning out...and the flame is dying down...do i really like you?or was i really looking for something else to replace the emptiness in my heart?

since she came back,my eyes seem to be fixed on her whenever possible...but then,you will appear in my thoughts whenever that happens...and now i'm really confused and lose as to what am i really looking for?love?or was i too desperate for some company?

the camp taught me so much about love,God's love for us.how wide and deep is His love that we,will never be able to understand His love till we meet Jesus again.thinking and recollecting the sharing by pastor jenni really seem to shake these "love" feeling inside my heart...love is not about feelings,it was never once mentioned about how we feel about love but to just do it.love the people ariund us.

it so mavelous,how love is described not as a feeling but as actions of concern for the people around us,so now,thinking back,i realised that i do not know the true meaning of love and what it really is...feel that i do not have the right to say i love you to anyone right now,till at least,i'm able to comprehand just one small part of what love really is-to love thy neighbour as yourself.

christmas is coming,and maybe through this christmas,i'll know how to love once again,the love for the people around me which once left my heart so long ago...leaving behind just a selfish love...a selfish love to love me,myself and i...the Lord is my shepherd and my shield,He will look after my needs that no one else will be able to provide for He is my provider,my all in all.

looking forward to a great cell christmas party this friday evening and i hope that many people will be blessed by the party.also looking forward to the cafe party at liquids 1 on sunday night,though it's gona be so messy again with smoking,drinking,dancing going on all at once.hope that everyone there will have fun and not be so drunk.

lastly,hope that this coming christmas will be a different christmas for me,a powerful christmas which will shake my life upside down and change my harden heart.i pray that this coming christmas and the coming new year will be a blessing to each and everyone of my family,friends and relatives out there and the coming new year will be a new beginning for us all including me.

just came back from FACT camp 2006: Deeper Wider & Beyond. superb great and fruitful camp i would say,learnt so much during the past 3 to 4 days at camp and had alot of fun playing the games and interacting with with my camp group SIMEON :D Sime-ON!Si-me-On!Si-me Si-me Si-me-ON!!!haha...so much fun and laughter though our group was relatively small.
here's some pictures i took:

my lil sis

husband and wife :P

who's that handsome guy?
3 chio bu's
ah teh
ah teh and kai ling

xiang xiang

yummy finger
shu xiang and lenny
me and shu xiang
the 4 handsome brothers
shu xiang and kimberly
me and kenneth
birthday boy
matthew and lenny
matthew,lenny and kenneth
sweet hearts :D
lenny,me and chye
who are you taking?
top 11 oldies! haha
wrestle mania!!-mark koh and ngiam
lenny and kimberly-fact stickers as ear rings
many yummpy fingers :P
son and father-clement and john teh
wondering samurai gabriel
kimberly and her pet dog
gifaffe for shu xiang's head?
sam goes for lenny?
lenny and the dog
best friends
doggy :D
last but not least, ah teh and serena!

WHOOHOO!!!finally i'm a free bird!my second and final paper ended this afternoon so i'm officially free till next year!yea...had a hair cut and color after my last paper just now then tml going for the fact camp...hoooya...all the way till sunday.then after that have to go christmas shopping for alot of people liao...sure gona spend $$ like siao..

sigh...didn't get to see you and wont get to see you till next week liao...so that will be 2 weeks...seems like my chance is slipping away...and that you really don't seem to care much about me...i really don't know what to do or to even carry on liao...

i just pray that when i'm back,all refreshed from the camp,things will be better for all of us...to still be friends at least...though i haven really expressed my feelings to you yet...

well,i off for the week till sunday so see all of you dudes soon!

hawaian,beef pepproni and meat lovers,i love all of u...but i'm too full to eat you now...haha,had pizza for dinner,4 large canadian pizzatocelebrate my bro's birthday tml.then there was cake too...omg...somemore i had ate alot of cheese stuff at the cafe just now,was sampling different types of dishes with cheda cheese...yumyum...so i'm super full now,especially after dinner...still bloated from over eating,think i'll be bombing tml morning...lol

speaking of tml...shucks...its my common test...haven really studied for it cos i was damn busy with the dram this whole week...Finally!the FRAME has BEEN CHANGED!!!yay!!all the hard work and effort of the whole production team paid off,was super glad with the number of people who came to watch the drama and those who responed to the alter call. super shag after the event till jo had to wake me up in the morning in the bus,if not i would have slept all the way through to amk interchange...haha

sian ah...tml and wednesday having common test,really need to pia it out tml morning and study till afternoon where the paper starts,good thing i have boon who will be studying with me..then after the tests,will be going to color and trim my hair before camp on on wednesday.hope that i can pass my papers so that i wont have to go back for retest after the term break..really hope that everything will turn out well for me.

today,i only got to wave goodbye to you...didnt even had the chance to talk to you cos you seem to be avoiding me...i don't know but that's how i feel...and i'm starting to be confused again...back to square one...it seem that whenever i'm with a girl,i seem to like them,then when i'm with someone else,i seem to like that someone else...so it's really confusing me again...but you don't seem to care much about me..from what i see...so it's like there's no point in what i'm doing...

but then again,i still feel for you...even though i try to hide it from people,so that they won't make fun of me...but still,things don't seem to be going well...but i'll presevere,and press on.till there's nothing left to hold on to.by then,i'll be the one who's really broken and wreak...that will be when every single hope i ever held on to crumble and fall...and that will be the day,that i walk away and never enter your life again...so for now,let me hold to everything that i have and continue with this world of uncertain journey...

zzz....woke up in the morning feeling ok.then while bathing, gastric sets in and the pain flooded my stomach...ouch.. had to eat breakfast to ease the pain and so i missed the ECAM morning practical..msged my lab partner to tell her that i won't be going.

to my surprise...when i went for afternoon VI lab test,everyone was like Ariel your gastric better or not?wa,Ariel, got gastric still finish so fast ah...i was like oh my goodness...why everyone like know i had gastric,and from their tone it's like they're suaning me...saying i skip the last lesson for the term...sian...when i skip lesson,no one care about it...but when i'm really down with some illness,everyone seem to suddenly be interested in why i'm missing in action...

somehow,i don't know what to say or even comment about this kind of things...so i shall leave it.work today was quite ok,my first time working with big boss and everything was good.and our big boss was also kind enough to send us back home after work.really a nice boss to have,compared to what i've heard from my friends about their bosses.glad to be in this current job i'm in right now.

didn't get to see you this week yet,though i'm not sure if i have the chance,cos i'm pretty much caught up with the drama,which is on this saturday and so tomorrow night and the whole of saturday is booked...not to mention i came by on monday and tuesday beofore going down to church,yet i wasn't able to see you...then wednesday i had to rush finish a document for tomorrw so i didn't go down.today was work but you won't around again.just hope that maybe,i'll get to see you on sunday.if not,the next time i'll get to see you will be in another week's time...

due to my common test and the youth camp which starts on thursday-just one day right after my last paper is over till sunday afternoon...think i won't make it through the week since just this week of preperation for the drama is already taking effect on me with gastric...next week will be hell week for me...gona pump petrol for 3 days before i have any chance to rest on wednesday.

then have to pack for the camp too,so hope that if my paper ends early on wednesday,maybe i'll go down for awhile just to try my luck.if you're working,you'll be there...if not,then there's nothing i can do..

oh well,gona go sleep soon...quite tired from the past few nights and the gastric is starting again...it's been a whole day....and it still doesn't want to quit...hope that tomorrow will be a better day...

haven appeared in a week..been busy and tired this week,next 2 week will be hell i guess...drama all the way till saturday,then it's exam and FACT camp...wow...so many things cramped into 2 weeks...hope i can take it.

and i realised that i really like you alot...since the past few days when the rest kept making fun of me about the new girl,your image just flashed into my mind everytime that happen.and you look so cute when you tie up your hair,that all i can say :) cute is just the word to discribe you.i'm falling in love.and maybe the time is almost coming.the so called season of love-christmas,hope that it's really a season of love for me.

i'm so tired now,worked on friday night then went for supper with my colleages at prata house till about 2am.then yesterday night after power house and dinner,i went down to the cafe again since there's no soccer.then chris told me they haven had dinner yet and asked me to help ta pao for them.

after which,they didn't even have time to eat till like 11pm...so i stayed to help with the drinks and stuff then helped to close the cafe for the night too.we left at about 1am all shagged out...thus,i skipped service today.but went to work till 5 plus then came back...now i'm super nua...think i'll go sleep at about 10:30 if there's nothing to do.