ok...so i haven't been here since tuesday...was busy with school deadlines and all...and plying maple story too :D lol..

and finally my 60 GB pocket hard disk is here...yaynesss...transfered all the stuff over liao..so at least my laptop's not too laggy now due to lack of space...freed up half the space on my D drive too...wheee...

ok...school this week will be class quizzes, and some reflection report to submit and i'm through with it...then it's study for exams soon...bleh...fast sia...after that, 3 weeks of rest before my project starts.

anyway,not much to blog about...so...bye bye lil sis..haha..

wow...quite surprised that the so called big report was actually so easy to do.done it within an hour...power...anyway,left 2 tests and one presentation left for the week...should be able to survive them.yup :)

didn't see the angel today tho, think timing different.maybe tomorrow will see her..O_o..haha...anyway,finalyl have time to maple just now...but the server was freaking lagging...think too much people were playing...kinda irritated me tho...stupid computer ram like gone case liao...

loading one map can forced the ram to over run and stops all together...then had to restart my com like twice to get it boot up...wa lao...then just now had to do system restore too...really need to back up all my stuff before the laptop gg...and the freaking hard disk only come next week...wtf...just hope that my laptop can last till then...

zzz....now wana play game also don't dare to...in case the ram over heat then crash...bleh...just gona slack awhile then go to bed soon...if not i'll be like today,woke up then went back to sleep and slept through my second alarm timing....only woke up after my friend called to ask if wana meet to go school...haha..then i was like sorry i just woke up..lol

k la...better get going soon...though i'm not feeling that tired...and oh...think i'm coming down with a bad sore throat,spat out a super dark brown phlegm while in school in the afternoon...nasty stuff...and i think there's more where it came from..ewww...better drink more h2o..

3 reports down :D whoohoooo....1 big one to go O_o...plus the presentation along with it...anyway,cleared quite a number of stuff...only left the big guns to be completed...stress level have gone down quite abit...feels great to play maple after doing the 2 reports :D get to clear my mind from school for 1 to 2 hours..

on another note, there's nothing i can say at all......though it's still kinda lingering around...the feelings i mean...there's not much i can do or say to comfort or make someone feel better...but i'm glad it's better already...so i guess i'll just watch that someone from afar...so that at least there won't be any awkwardness in the air...

and oh...i saw the angel again today!!!!didn't realised that she was on the same bus to school till i got off at KAP mac there where she got off too :D,again...she kinda stared at me for a split second or two...and omg man...she was wearing this..ermm...what do they call it?hot pants? or hot short?whatever la...but it's like so skin tight u'd think she's not wearing anything underneath...eww...ok...no detail...

gona go to bed already...shag out and long day ahead...school then the big report to be done so that i can send it to my group mates by wednesday...oh ya,gona be watching harry potter on wednesday too :D

kinda in the mood where i don't wana do anything at all...super tired from the past few days of working...shag...meeting for presentation then have lab test from tomorrow till thursday and 3 reports to hand in,one tomorrow,and 2 on tuesday...then on on friday,having a big presentation and report to hand in too...

sucks man...all the presentations,testes,and freaking reports all clash in the same timing...all the freaking stress pile up into 1 big stress....f it man...my eye bags are so bad now when i remove my spectacles,you can see the panda eyes...i seriously am in need of a long break away from school,work,church,everything....even my family...i just need some space for myself man...some time where i can just slack off without anyone interfering with me...

too tired to have a headache now...my brain's totally switched off...but the things insides are all running at full speed...imagine jamming the engine of your car to max while the hand break and normal breaks are on...sooner or later,the car will go "boom" and that's where my brain's heading now...too tired to move but still the mind's running...sucks man...

gona give up already..can't continue typing anymore...

i saw the angel today :D wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.... was on the way down to the cafe from school in 74 and then the angel board the bus :D and as expected,she dropped off at the same spot again...where i alighted too...though when i was alighting,i saw her kind of staring at me...then when i looked at her,she just turn her head to another direction O_o...

anyway,the angel didn't go back home though,she went to take bus at the other stop ( double bus stop) and i was waiting for 167/980 on the other one...oh well...i was still wondering when i would bump into her again and viola,took the same bus again :) twice in a week for this week..hope to see her more often :P

then couldn't get people to cover my shift today cause everyone's busy or not contactable...bleh...then i rushed down to in-square salon to meet my mom to do my hair before rushing back to work..now i look like a lion man,my hair's color is lighter and brighter than the previous color plus now i have highlights too...power :) cost a total of $100 from my pocket man...broke again...now have to wait for my pay at the end of the month to top up my banck account again ...

gona be working in the morning shift later...till 5pm then it'll be home sweet home for me :)whoohooo...can get to watch all the movies i got from my friend on thursday,finished with "ust follow law" then maybe i'll watch "flush away" tomorrow...as for now,my poor brain's freaking tired already...had presentation and quiz in school today,though both was good,still kinda tax my brain abit...

ohoh and the gang of us (just 3 persons) had lunch with our lecturer, and he's a seriously damn funny dude...haha...had a good time lunching with him,and next friday think we're gona be lunching with him again..yup,thats all for now...i'm feeling hungry....urgh...

hmmm...was thinking...and all of a sudden...this question came into my mind again:"what if i were to let go...will there be a hand i can hold on to,will there many hands to hold on to or will i free fall all the way down?"

kinda made me wonder how many real friends do i really have?are they all real buddies?or is everyone just putting on a mask?am I putting on a mask too?...till now,i have no answer to any of the questions i just posted...so will i fall all the way down?

shoot for the stars,so that if you fall,you'll land on the moon...now,it's the reverse...shoot for the moon,so that if you fall...at least it's nearer to the ground compared to falling from the stars...and by that,i mean the moon as one true friend and stars as many masked friends...how ever,if the moon is the one true friend,will you ever fall?

no idea...but if i do fall...here comes the next question:"will i be able to get up on my feet and continue with the journey or will the fall cripple me for life?"never thought so deeply in awhile...my brain's thinking different from normal...

and so speaking...could be from the stress from school getting on to me...it's been so long since i last felt stressed up over school...presentations after presentations...quizzes after quizzes...reports after reports...and they all fall in the same weeks,making things worse...and by weeks...i mean last week,this week and the coming week...like wth sia...all cramp together...not to mention the fact that i'll be having like 4 lab tests next week too...

just hope that things will be better after all these are over...no wait...there's still the final examination in one month's time..oh man...then after all these are finally over...i'll only have a short break of 3 weeks before the FYP comes up...sigh...school is getting alot tougher in just a few months...

[when will i meet you again?i wonder...the pretty gal in bus 852...and 812..lol :P take 852 in the morning to school everyday but only bump into her like once every 2 weeks.saw her in school today,and again,she always dresses till she's easily picked out in a crowd...

then was on the way home and saw her again :) eyes cream :P haha...and just as i thought,she took bus 74 to the mac bus stop to wait for iether 852 or 855..and guess what?she took the 852 i was in...wheee...high sia...then after alighting in the interchange, walk to 812 bus stand and again,she's there..

and since the bus was quite crowded.i stood in the middle of the bus where the two cabin joins and you know what?she sat right at the seat right in front of the juncture right opposite where i was standing...so it was like eyes cream all the way till she alighted at the 5th stop...and i realised that she kinda kept looking to the left slightly towards my direction..maybe cause i was in the same bus as her from almost half the journey home..hehe

never noticed her in the past...why huh?and i noticed that she only start taking 852 when i was in year 2,so i deduce that she's one year my junior in age and in year 2...as for the course she's in,i have no idea...never really seen her with notes or even with her friends in school...just have to get the right opportunity and maybe i'll even get to befriend her :)...haha...if only...]

oh well...enough of the eyes cream..hehe...just can't stop thinking of her..haha...erm...ok...school was good i suppose...played gundam on the psp almost the whole day...lol..then went walking at co-op to see "chio bu"s too..haha today basicaaly was the "chio bu" day...don't know why see so many chio bu today...see but no touch...if not gg...then get thrown to jail plus rotan...nasty...

anyway,gona be going to the salon on saturday with my agin...fianally,almost 3 month plus...gona get a hair cut,erm...trimming thin only la...then maybe color my hair again then get some extension provided they're not too expensive..yup..so won't be going for cell this saturday since the appointment is at 4:30..gona go down after work and most probably staying there till quite late...since my mom wana reborn her hair again...and maybe coloring her hair too..oh well...hope that the new hair do will look good.

as for now...bye people...gona slack the night of..tata

got to know a new friend today..haha...one of my buddy's friend who live in yishun too..and i always see him taking 852 to school and home..haha...now we're officially friends since fiq introduced us to each other...and you know what,he's quite a nice guy in fact...tho my first impression of him was he's a **** up person,it'a not really the case..

yup,and might not be going for service after all,have to see how...though i'll want to go for service before going to work...then i'll have a super long day ahead...breakfast,service,work,dinner...long day i'll say...and i still don't know what to ask for my birthday present...my mom told me to tell uncle kk and aunty alison what i want but don't know le...like what i want is all expensive stuff...then i'll feel uneasy asking them to buy it for me...hmmm....

must think of something by tomorrow i think...bleh...

another tiring day at work...started at 12pm till7pm...cos yy couldn't reach home in time to come in at 5pm..haha..then the freaking blackie...really "tu lan" him already...2 sundays in a row,last minute drop bomb on us again...didn't turn up for work...wtf...yesterday still ok...then again,sunday so called "fall sick"...what sia...

anyway,gona be working again coming sunday..but i'll be attending service first..yup :) then after that gona be having dinner with family to celebrate my sis and my birthday..whooopeeee...food...haha...then inviting uncle kk and aunty alison too :) still thinking what to do for my b-day...go makan with buddies or just spend some quality time with close friends?or work?i dono...don't really wana work tho...

hmmm...and i'm not quite sure if i can get my close friends out or not... :( bleh...or do i even have any close friends at all?i wonder...still wishing for ******** tho...sigh...is there nothing i can do to make things better?...bleh.........so many things happened this year...so many things i can't catch up with them...going crazy...

school tomorrow again...slack day...but again,this week will be somewhat busy,3 reports to do,1 t hand in by wednseday,2 next week,1 on monday,and the other on friday...other then that.it's work on friday night,saturday morning and sunday morning..yup...

ffff...i'm feeling almost brain dead...tired...but then my mind's burning the oil like mad...yet i don't really know what my brain's thinking about currently...so many things yet so little things...zzz...wana take another puff...but not sure if i should...sure gona be hook to it if i continue with more puffs...zzz...haiz...

but i need some boost...my poor brain's almost depleted all the energy the body is supplying it and demanding for more...ate my dinner at about 10pm and i'm hungry already...it shows how fast my brain's sucking up all the energy from the dinner...ahh...my head's hurting liao...really gona "buang" soon...still waiting for my hair to dry before i go to sleep...and my sis's in a really bad shape...vomited so many times...guess i'll wait till she goes to bed before i sleep..in case anything happens i can help..

oh well...my family is my life.

napha was a total screwed...haha...kinda expected the out come anyway :P..went for the sake of going since it's the last day for Soe EE division...yaya...i don't really care...haha...am prepared to go in 2 months ahead of those who just scraped pass with a silver...after which,i'll be gloating at them when they come in to join us..haha...since the extra 2 months will be tekan and tekan and tekan all the way till getting gold is as easy as abc..muahaha..

just finished my freaking power point presentation for tomorrow's presentation for WISP...bleh...always doing all the stupid funny studies on some God knows where region(actually i do know about those region-just that i ffff care them) then having to do some presentations...haiz...then in the afternoon,not too sure if 1MQE was supposed to have the skit presentation thing this week or the next...bleh...

so many things to do...so little time for them...then i'm gona have to drag my aching body to work tomorrow night...sure gona be a real pain in the ass for me sia...but at least,tomottow won't be all that bad,if the new part timer is working too..since i'm supposed to do her last training..and i haven't seen her in person yet,one of yy's friend from np too..lol..haha...and again,everyone was like-hey she's quite prety le ariel..tall tall also...every time when there's a new female part timer,i'm always the one who kana the arrow for this kinda thing...like i'm a quack quack or something...

hopefully tomorrow's gona pass pretty harmlessly for me...oh well...better get sleeping soon...it's 1am...

napha tml...and there's the totally screwed up IED PBL3...then after all these are done,the freaking presentation to be prepared for friday...bleh...tough day ahead tml...stress and taxing on the body and brain...

hopefully i can leave class early for napha,if late again,then won't be able to take the freaking test this sem...pui...gona fail it anyway so...oh well...but still need the attendents...haha..gona try to finish up all the freaking deadlines for this week by tml...thnik my brain's gona pop like popcorns...there it goes:"pop pop pop pop pop popopopppopopppp"ouch...my poor brain...

and i think i might be down with illness again soon...my nose's been block ever since i came back from northpoint...freaking thick mucus blocking the passage...yucks...and my nose feels slimy...yucks...okok...enough of the details...bleh...haven't been sleeping much the past few days...busy with maple sorry to say that...haha...

and just found out that my exam would be from the 20th august onwards...almost 1 month away...sucks man...after the exam i'll only have 3 weeks of break before my final semester starts...and it will be project all the way till i complete my final year in ngee ann...fast sia...it was only like yesterday when i enter poly...now i'm on the verge to graduating....and it will be serving the nations as the lowest lifeform in singapore in BMT..haha..

ah well...better get going,gona have a freaking long day tml...chaoo...

ok...so didn't take my napha today,gona take it on thursday hopefully if i'm early...was late today then my left ankle was cracking the whole day when i walk...then stupid freaki pulled his thigh muscle so we decided to do it on thursday...sian...wana et it over with tho...then the turn out for today's napha also not alot of people...about 40 to 50 only...super little la...

tomorrow gona be slacking almost the whole day in school...not going for the retest anymore,cause when convert to 20%,i'll only get 20% if i managed to pass the retest,which i'll probably fail...and to pass means i'll get 10 marks,which i have 7.5 from the real test..so i guess 2.5 marks doesn't really make a difference in my final results since i think i'll fail it...sigh...moving on...

gona go home after the practical since tutorial we don't do much there...kinda waste of a time...the lecturer is just too slack to give us tutorial i guess...always send the answers to us by email...sheesh...but i don't reall care since i don't do tutorial..lol..and oh...i had my first puff...muahahaha...just for the fun of it la...

actually i realised there's not much taste in it...not as how i expected it to be though...not much taste not much feeling...feels like you're just burning away your money and inhaling in the output of the burning which is the smoke...other than that,i still don't get why people do it..oh well...i guess sooner or later,i'll find out..oh well...

kinda feeling bored and sian...like everything's all laid out and planned for me to follow...and i don't really have my own choice to things...bleh...totally hate it when i'm not in control of my time...boring...gona maple again

ok...i just realised that this week is a hell week for me...had to rush my report to hand in tomorrow but i'm stuck,so i gave up..my mind's dead....then tomorrow having napha which i will fail miserably and contribute to an aching body...bleh...

thursday will have to rush out powerpoint for friday's presentation and from friday till sunday,i'll be working...sucks man....totally...my week is more or less gone...no time for relax,maple,and stuf...but i'll want to at least level up my freaking character to level 31 or 32...my bro's freaking slack pumping his character now...hitting level 32 and i'm only half way tru level 30...sucks sucks sucks...

"pui pui pui cao nua"....freaking tired and brain dead now...haiz...and i'm wondering if that was for me to read...haiz...i won't know what's going on unless i'm told of the situation...still thinking of that every now and then...zzz....think i should go to bed soon...rest my poor aching body before they get battered up even more tomorrow...

headaches...ouch...my head's really hurting...bleh...

good sermon...but did it speak to me?...can't tell as of yet...still trying to live life though i had many thoughts otherwise...oh well...brush that aside...breakfast was funny...second time in 3 weeks,we only started breakfast at 8:40am when we're supposed to meet at 8:00am...always..and today,everyone was late...

supposed to give wake up call to yanni then she never charge her hp so all i got was:"the singtel mobile customer you've dial,is currently not in use..please try again later."wow...like how am i supposed to give wake up call when the hp is dead?haha...funny though...then when i reached,sent esther a msg and again...stunned...

i just woke up...sorry sorry i rush down now...haha that was what esther replied...then zhuang was mia all the way and lala reached late too...so i just sat the the table and played with my hp games...for 30 minutes...till yanni arrived,then esther followed by lala...aiyo...really should have went at 8:40an lor...haha...ate my favourite century egg porridge again.wheee...haha

and esther paid for my food again...AGAIN...last night she paid for the "teh peng",my dinner...then dosay she paid for the porridge...my breakfast...walao...like i eat free sia...haha...then coming saturday if i'm going for cell must treat her back man...if not i feel so blehhh...lol...but next sunday i won't be around...will be working in the morning...if not alvin will skin me cause i never work on sunday..haha..

ok...this post is getting long...gona end it here and prepare to go for supper later...chao people...

ok...i've got nothing to blog about today...feeling brain dead...

been busy the past few nights...or rather the past week nights..worked last night and the rest was spent on maple story...playing maple story again really kinda helps me to cope with my current unstable condition...at least i get to spend my concentration and time on leveling my character rather than being miserable and moody...

finally achieved my second job title at level 30 after 1 week and 1 day..whoohoo...now i'm just waiting to see how long will it take for me to hit level 50...hmmm...think it'll take about 1 month i guess...gona start chionging my level again soon...gona take a break for tomorrow and maybe sunday...if not i'll get too brain bead when i go back to school..

other than that,not much to talk about...every thing's pretty much where i left them before...not much change except for me..feel like a lost soul wondering around aimlessly...no motto in life,nowhere to go...no dreams...no nothing...a lost soul...waiting to be retrieved by someone and place back inside a body...so that i can function again...now i have no life...

which brings me to the next question...how do you kill one that has no life?you know what?you can't...since i have no life...i can't be eliminated from this world...i can only stay on and hope for someone to retrieve my soul one day...when will it be?i have no clue to it...1 day?1 week?1 month?1 year?1 decade?1 century?...no idea...maybe not when i'm alive...who knows...

playing maple kind of burn my eyes for hours...but at least,it keeps my mind from overloading...think i'm going nuts soon...school load is starting to become heavier,not to mention final exam coming up in about 6 weeks time...then my design project will be starting on 17th september...not going to have much of a holiday i guess...

sigh...and it doesn't help with people calling me every 2 days asking to work cover duties...bleh...already told them i can't on these few days and gave my reasons long ago...still kept asking me why cannot work...already cross out the dates with a big freaking X and it seem that there's not much use of it is there?

so many things on my mind now...school work,some due tomorrow and still not started yet...pui...work itself,having to cover duties now and then and during my holidays when big boss gona go give birth...but i wana go for holiday!!!!to clear my mind and take a break from all that had happened...hopefully i can get some time away from work and go for a short trip...better start saving up...

last note,feel that we're not really clicking like we used to...not much to talk about...never chatted over msn for 1 wk plus...talk also one sentence question or answer...never really had a whole hearted chat like we used to...maybe we've change...i don't know...maybe it's just me...the one who's changing...sigh...

i realised...i've never really felt happy the past week...though i joked and crap about as usual...i wasn't happy...the surface was happy but not the inside...the inside was rotting away...slowly being eaten up and engulfed by the monstrous me...

don't think i'll ever be the same old me again...i might look the same,sound the same,do the same things...but some how...it's just not me anymore...the old me seemed to have disappeared along the road...and the other me seem to be coming out more and more...the monstrous side of me...

i'm starting to hate alot of things...people...some of whom are my friends...and i kind of loathes going for cell and service again...happening again...the last time it happened...i didn't appear for like 2 to 3 months at all...then i started appearing again...though i leave half-way through services at times...

bleh...if it's gona happen again...think it'll take longer to get everything right again...as for now...going for a walk at northpoint...

shagged...5 hours of none stop maple...and my bro's still going strong...power...zzz

been thinking of the things that happened the past week...the things said and done...were they worth doing?were they worth saying?it all voice down to just one answer...they aren't really worth it...what ever i was looking for in you...it just wasn't worth it...what ever i was and had been looking for in life...it just wasn't worth it...

things happens for a reason...i may not know the reason now...but i will...when the time comes...for now...it's just another daily thing that happen to one in his life...and now it's my life...nothing to be said...since it's all part of living life itself...it's just whether you will live life to it's fullest or not...

haven't been in a good mood this week though...partly due to what had happened...but i guess i'll live through it somehow...not fine but surviving...that's my answer for now...school has become a daily routine again...waking up early for school and stuff...work is still the same...but my life has been changing from the inside out almost everyday...

well...it's just my life i guess...changing every minute...