its 2am in the morning...not as awake as last night but still somewhat awake nevertheless...seems like e habit of late night sleeping is being embedded into my body system...hopefully i can wake up in time to go collect my report then head over to cole's place...seems to me that she doesnt want to over anymore...like everytime i meet her its at bishan mrt...everytime she just doesnt want to be at her place...dono why but yea...

seems like i'm no longer welcomed at her place or something i dono...but its her home so its up to her to open it to me...my place will always be open for her to pop by to slack anytime tho...anyway...still feeling horrible inside in some ways...like things are getting more complicated by the moment...and i'm getting more trapped though there's this saying in chinese...拿得起，放得下。
meaning to be able to pick up and to let go...i'm trying my best here but its hard..

especially when cole's kinda my first relationship...zzz...sigh...never really thought that things would have turned out this way...but it did...and i definitely wasnt ready for the big tight slap right in my face...which really came...literally...sigh...oh well...life still goes on whether i like it or not...

hopping for the best now...that things will settle down soon and we can go back to being friends...if that is the word to be used...cause i really have no idea where i stand in her heart now...anyway...enough of the negative thoughts...better get some sleep soon less i look horrible when i wake up...like the past few days...my panda eyes are really obvious now...bleah...

ciao...