the mind is moving but not the body...

the heart is kinda stuck between gear 1 and the brake...i'm not sure what to do now...especially when things are getting more complicated now...i cant seem to see the path infront of me...i feel so trap...i want to move on...but the heart matters are just too hard to let go...somehow still cant do it...

have this feeling that i'm starting to fall for somebody again...but i cant really allow myself to do that...cause i'm not mentally prepared yet...still feeling attached to cole in someways...but the feelings getting stronger these few days...like i'm starting to do things with tell-tale signs...which will only make the other party awkward...

i know that i'm not ready to fall in love now...cause even if i do...its still a one sided love affair...which seemed to have been the same cases in the past few experiences i've had...hopefully i can shake myself out of it and focus on what's important right now...

though in my life right now...there's nothing much important to focus on...not to me at least...maybe because i've nothing to focus on...thats why everything's so chaotic now...i guess i've fcuked up my life in some ways...and the effects of it are showing now...

if the time is ripe..i'll move on...but not now at least...not when things are still unstable...unless moving on helps to stable things down...then i'll move on...i guess...