today pretty much past by peacefully i guess...morning was abit of a panic cause my shoe started coming apart on my way to church so i had to ask my dad a favour to send me to church.then i met my mom after service to get a new pair of shoes.

after which we went home for lunch and i slept till almost 5pm.though i was still kina sad when i heard that you went online to chat with ku on friday night...which you never did with me...and i hardly get to see you online ever since i started getting to know you more...it's really like you are trying to avoid me...even if i get to see you online,and when i tried chatting with you...you never really replied any of my messages,just like when i send you sms...

but then,during service today,through worship,i realised that i have been depending too much on myself,and not God...and when pastor preached,it really hit me then,that what i had asked for were all for my good being and not for God's glory...whichis probably why my prayers went unanswered.maybe God is really saying to me:NO,SlOW,GROW and all these will be given unto you...maybe it's time to do a self-reflection...am i really straying off like i said to cher hao and john?

it seems that way...and i'm really driving off course and not turning back...though sometimes,i cross path with the right path again and i drive through it before turning a right or left back into the dessert...basically a big cycle...that i'm stuck in..so right now,i think i really need to ask God to show me the way again,the way back to him...

but i hope that someday,when the time has come,i will be able to look you in the eye and tell you how much you mean to me...right now,it seem impossible with you shielding away from me...but i won't give up...unless it's all in God's will for me,so till that part of my life is slowly being revealed to me,only then will i stop trying.

and happy holiday in japan lil sis! hope that you will enjoy your break which i think you really deserved since you had gone through so much these few months :D remember to buy me some soveniors ya?haha just kidding