i said that i wanted to give up...and i tried to...but when i heard that you were ill today,i just couldn't help myself but feel concern about you...though yet again,you didn't reply any of my mseeages...sigh...

just when i thought of giving up...the news from boss made me kind of hold back...now i'm really torn between giving up or continuing...why...why must it be like this?i just don't get it...everytime i try,the shield bounced me back,then when i want to stop trying,some pros and cons will make me try again...and in the end,i'll still get bounced back...

i really don't know how to go on now,how to carry on at this cross junction...to go straight?or left?or right?someone please tell me what to do now...i just want to stand in the middle of the crossroad now and wait for some car to come hit me head on...maybe then i'll wake up and all will be fine...if fine is the word to use...