feeling so cui now...just seeing that blue benko in the bag makes me feel low...cause you didn't want it...you said you don't like it..sigh...somemore i chose a blue one cause you like blue,and the expression of it kind of remind me of you,when you stick out your tongue.which i thought was cute...but then,you don't like it...so there's no point in it anymore...

or was it because he was around?if that's the case,i'll be even more devastated...really can't stop thinking about it...how you took it out,looked at it..then put it back into the plastic bag..the worse part was when you left without taking it,then when i asked you,you took the plastic bag,folded it nicely and passed it back to me...that really broke my heart...

and through out the rest of the night i was super sian...so sian even alvin noticed something was wrong...haiz...why must it be like this?i still don't understand...i tried being nice to you,but you kept shunting from me...it's really becoming hard for me to keep on going...but i want to,if only you are willing to let me in just a little bit...

i'm just sooooooo tired now...really really really gona break down soon....unless i see a ray of light at the end of the tunnel...i'll continue my path down the tunnel till there's light at the end...where i'll be able to smile again...