err...freaking I.S module...screwing the shit out of each and everyone of us..zzz...a module where they squeeze everything into 7 short weeks with each week only 4 freaking hours of lesson...omg...really getting sick of meeting up every week just to do I.S, even my core modules aren't that stressful...

anyway,went back to work today after taking a break for 3 days..though i wasn't really ready to face you yet...tried to avoid passing by by going from the back door but,who knows...you were already there...being sick plus facing you really screwed me up...that's why i decided to read the newpaper instead of joining the rest in the discussion about the cakes and stuff...somehow didn't want to have much communication going around..

and it didn't help with the terrible weather up there...pouring rain and super cold wind blowing...just made me feel so much worse...when i appeared,mag and alvin could see straight away that i wasn't just sick...and there was something else...which of course i wouldn't say...cause it will just make everything worse...

the only thing i can do is to stop myself from trying too hard and to avoid as much communication with you as possible...that way,even though i may be bleeding on the inside,it will only be me...and no one else will have to suffer with me...like what all the rest always said,sacrifice ariel so that the rest can have a good laugh...oh what the hack,bring it on...

at such..i feel that it's better to keep my distance from you..now that it really seem impossible for anything to happen between us...sadly...my heart is crying out but n one can hear my heart's cry...sigh...