i'm so tired...physically,mentally,and emotionally drained...was totally thrown off by your reply...hurting inside...i'm gona give up soon...being nice to you and showing my concern seems to have all gone down the drain...and now,the shield just went up like 5 levels?so it's practically almost impossible for me to get close to you again i guess...

nevertheless,i hope that the friendship between us is still ok...though i doubt it...sigh...everything is just going the wrong way...and maybe it's like what esther said during cell,that only when we are prepared for it,then God will give us our wish...so maybe i'm just not ready for it...and i really thank my lil sis too,for pursuding me not to take up smoking which i wanted to last night...was feeling so low and stuff...good thing i messaged her before i do anything which i might regret...

even though i know that somewhere down the road,during one of the bends and turns,i will eventually take up smoking..at least i made a promise to someone close,that i will not take up smoking at least not in the near future.and i do not want my lil sis to be sad if i take up smoking,so really thank God for my lil sis.