waiting...for such a long time...and still waiting...tho i wanted to stop and move on...but it seem i cant let go still...still holding onto it...still waiting for her...which seemed totally impossible now...rally really want to quit and just end the chapter here...move on with my life and hopefully forget all the feelings and thoughts i've had...

on top of that,many things are happening now...changes are appearing every single day of my life...and somehow they slip past me without me realising...
by the time i do realise...its all too late...sigh...

to top it off,my grangma's slowly wasting away...as what they put it...the cancer had spread from her stomach to the rest of the body and doctors say she has maybe a few more months left....the thing is they cant feed ehr now...due to ehr vomiting watever they feed her...so its a slow and painful time for her now...which is making me sad...

her condition has worsen since her return to the home from alexandra hospital with a dislocated shoulder...which occured when they tried to lift her off the bed...wat i cant believe was that the ppl at AH didnt even bother to fix her shoulder cos they say theres no use in doing that...which pissed me off totally...haiz...

just seeing her lying on the bed looking so much worse than before made me realised tat life can really be painful and tat one wont cherish their loved ones till its all too late...which is now for me i would say...just hope tat everything will turn out well no matter wat happens in the future..