i noe...but i juz cant help it...cant learn to let go...tho i posted b4 tat i'm letting it go...todae...it seemed to juz slam straight back at me...feeling quite lausy and low...haiz...juz thinking abt it...makes me feel really low...

actually been thinking abt it since i let it go...mayb i really don like her...but its juz a moment of spurs when we were interacting tat i thought i like her...come to think of tat...the other her...seem tat i really like her...and tat e post abt the confirmation was totally crap...cos i came to noe recently something abt the other her which impacted me...tats y i'm thinking over the whole issue all over again...sad...rite now...i'm really lost in outer space...

so lost i'm trying to get back into earth...drifting far too deep into space...haiz...oh Lord...will u show me a way?a way out where it will benefit everyone...not juz me...but all for e best for all party...even if it mean i cant be wif either...i juz hope tat we will all be happy for wat God has planned for us...tho i'm feeling sad abt it...there's really nothing i can do abt it...cos its all for her sake...and i believe tat God had planned for all this to happen...

tat i can reflect on wat had been going on for the past few years...all the wrong i had done,all e rite i had done...my life...hasn't been really glorifying God...its really time for me to change...this time...i'm going to change for good...tats the only way tat God can work tru me...but i noe tat S.A TAN will try to stop me...i really need to pray for the change to take place...

back to my main point...somehow,i realized i'm not really ready for a relationship...but i do noe now,tat i really like e gal since 3 to 4 yrs ago...and tat i'll do my best in commmitment if there's any chance we'll be together...think i'll have to wait for her....maybe by then,i'll be ready and changed...do pray for me ya?

and please don tag my board abt this issue...and don talk to me abt it...weather in msn,sms,face to face or any form of communcation...juz note tat this is how i feel...really appreciate it...thanks ppl...