Ok...think i finally noe how i feel...mayb wat Joshua told me was like true...tat i focus too much on trying to get Her to b my girlfriend.....realized i missed out alot of considerations abt the whole issue...

now tat my thoughts r clearing up...think that i'm not really suited for Her...after all this yrs...i thought i finally made e right choice...but den,She really seemed to b a big sister to me now...all my stress had been a waste(lots of white hair)...not really...now i seem to b more concern abt e other Her...(as in e other gal)

Quite sad tho...to fall sick on christmas eve...some more i was out christmas shopping wif her yesterdae...den she had gastric pain...so i send her home after e shopping...thought tat she would be better todae...but no...saw her sis instead & her sis told me tat she was ill...sad is'nt it?

she told me she had some virus infection which caused her to vomit twice last nite...haiz...makes me feel sad as well...hope that she'll b well enough to go for the drama tml nite...told her i wanted to go wif her...haiz...pray that she will b well enough to go...